Thursday, October 21, 2010

Saying bye to a good friend

Today is a very sad day for me in which I have to say goodbye to a good friend. This is not the type of friend who calls you on the phone or listens to you gripe. Instead it was a place. A place that I loved dearly. The one place where I was able to find peace, and solace. A place where I shared great memories with my kids.

I wish I did not have to say goodbye. And to tell you the truth I didn't. That is what makes this sadder. I owned this property with my brother. And over the 10 years that it was owned I had done the maintenance on the place and paid all the bills. Basically looked after the place. At times I would get upset thinking that it wasn't fair that I was doing most of the work. But I always said that it was family so let it go.

I am not going to go into the whole painful story, but the end works out that the same brother decided for a few thousand dollars difference that he wanted to sell it to someone else. So to accomplish this he went behind my back on numerous occasions in order to get this done. I can't count the number of ways that he went about screwing me. What makes it worse is that through it all, I kept hearing from my father that "that's just the way he is".  Well, the cottage has been sold and I am pretty devastated. Not just to lose it but to once again find that my family condoned the actions of bad behaviour.

So in the end I have not just lost the cottage but will lose part of my family. For I have come to the time where I can no longer take being slapped in the face because that is how people are. I have come to the time where I yell out STOP! Family or not that is not acceptable.

Today I sit realizing who exactly my family is and choosing that I will no longer consider them family. I will no longer put up with  people behaving poorly under the guise that "that is how they are". I mean is that what we should say about murderers and thieves. Don't put them in jail, because that is how they are?

As a parent I hope I have the strength to speak out if one of my kids is being unjust to the other. Not to keep silent with a fear that they might hate me. For as a parent I can't worry if my kid likes everything I do or say. I just have to make sure that what I do/say is right and moral.

I lost a good friend, which was my cottage. And with that I am okay. I had the memories that I wanted and now someone else can create some new memories. But I also will say goodbye to part of my family. And for this I don't have many good memories. Only painful ones. And although this makes me sad that this is the type of family that I have, I at least have a choice whether I accept it.

And today I don't.

Sorry for the rant but my heart really feels low today and maybe writing about it will help it a bit.


  1. I'm so sorry. It must be so difficult to do what you have done, but I think you have set an example for your children that is important. We need to have enough love and respect for ourselves to know when enough is enough. This is something so many young people need to learn about relationships. Peace.

  2. Hi Stuart
    Sometimes we all have to go through hard times and this may be one for you now. And you need to do what’s best for “YOU”
    Keep in mind you have so many wonderful memories that will always be with you and your kids too. They will be remembering them when they are older and think of the fun times you all had shared. Sometimes one has to make new memories and learn to move on too, as hard as it is. You never know what tomorrow will bring for you ....a new door will open for you too.

  3. Hi Jacqueline
    Thanks for the nice words. I am a big believer in fate. I know that this is what should happen. The fun part of life is finding out why at some point down the road.

  4. You got it Stuart.Enjoy today and tomorrow. I should listen to my own words sometimes....LOL